Everywhere I looked on social media this weekend I saw people’s bank holiday kicking off in style. Three nights out in a row, amazing outfits, copious amounts of alcohol (I want a glass of wine!!), endless Snapchats of dancing queens and party animals, followed by the three days of hungover statuses and rough looking faces (slightly more amusing for my bitter self to see).
My bank holiday weekend on the other hand was somewhat slightly different…
Firstly, Echo decided that the best way to get our attention is to find something that belongs to us and chew it to pieces, even if it results in him being chased round the house by Jack trying to boot him up the arse while hurling endless profanities at him and him ending up in his crate for the rest of the day.
One object of his attention was a beloved Mogwai teddy Jack had bought me for our first Christmas together. After a slight Gremlins movie obsession manifested itself at the beginning of our relationship, it had resulted in Jack being called ‘Gremlin’ from there on out after I realised how much he reminded me of ‘Stripe’ (the naughty, slightly evil, leader of the Gremlin pack). Gizmo had become a symbol of our first Christmas together and he had sat proudly on our landing ever since, I have to say there were a few tears when I found the limbless, soggy looking mess that was left for me on the stairs. I remember muttering ‘I hope you f*cking choke on it’ as I picked up the pieces and once again shut him in his crate. Someone please remind me why the hell we got a dog?!
Secondly, the baby seems to be going through a growth spurt so instead of your average sleepless nights we have sleepless days too. She is feeding round the clock and because she has clearly inherited my appetite and the inability to recognise when one is full, she has begun to throw up on me at random points throughout the day. Always on me and always after I’ve just changed my top, trousers or whatever she puked on the last time that had to be changed. Here’s me thinking our laundry pile was big before we had a baby *rolls eyes at own naivety*
As we’d spent the first part of the weekend being annoyed, tired and grumpy, we decided to try to salvage the time off we had together by arranging a nice family outing. Nothing too extravagant just a picnic at a local park.
After we packed up what felt like half the house, it then took us 50 minutes just to get out of the door. Once we arrived at the park we realised that although we had brought everything from extra outfits, dog bowls, possibly a kitchen sink, all in a bag that could have rivalled one owned by Mary Poppins, we had forgotten to pack the pram adapters so we couldn’t actually put the damn thing up.
After standing by the side of the road for a good 10 minutes, cursing at everything and everyone (seriously, even the baby got called a few names) we remembered we had our life saving trusty sling and the day was saved, so we FINALLY set off.
Our “adventure” resulted in a stressful walk around Williamson’s Park while we struggled with only two pairs of hands, to carry all the crap we’d crammed into the changing bag, the picnic bag, the baby herself and the dog who was too excited to be out of the house to walk in goddamn straight line. If it hadn’t have been for the fact that Jack had brought cake I’d have spent the whole time wishing we were back at home.
I miss the times when I would have had free use of my hands to hold a slice of cake and a pork pie at the same time. Safe to say we decided not to leave the house on Monday and spent the whole time in bed..so much less stressful!!
That’s all for now,
Violet, Echo, Gremlin and Me.