Another Bloomin’ Christmas and a Crappy New Year 🎉

Well… we’ve been getting ready for months, £££’s galore on gifts and a sh*t ton of wrapping paper, more bows than we know what to do with and it’s all over in hours in a couple of days.

This was Violet’s first Christmas and I wanted it to be perfect! I always want Christmas to be perfect. I am incapable of just giving gift. I need a well thought out present that looks to good to open, a childlike dream in the shape of a box. I probably spend more time on wrapping than I do on thinking of the gift. I have my Mum to thank for this. Every Christmas, every birthday, there would be a carefully organised mound of gifts each individually wrapped to perfection…and it’s a pain in the arse!

This projection of celebration that has been seared into my mind from birth is now apart of my make up. I go OTT on every celebration, Easter? WE MUST PAINT EGGS! Valentine’s Day? YOU CANT KNOW I LOVE YOU WITHOUT A BRIGHT RED HEART SHAPED REMINDER. Birthdays? Presents and Presents and cake and more presents and WHERE THE F*CK ARE THE BALLOONS?!! Halloween? ROUND UP THE PUMPKINS AND LETS SCARE THE LIVING CRAP OUT OF A BUNCH OF KIDS…And Christmas?! Well let’s just say if I could track down the Jolly fat bastard I reckon I’d give him a run for his money. We could join forces, that being said, I am not in the slightest bit Jolly. He can deal with the people and I’ll do the behind the scenes stuff and enjoy the satisfaction from afar. I don’t do any of it for the recognition or praise. I do it because I genuinely want everyone to feel as excited about Christmas as I did as a child.

Now as I mentioned, this being Violets first Christmas and our first as parents I figured the festive traditional ball ache of sorting out the ‘magic’ of Christmas had fallen to me, and I had big shoes to fill. There I was at half past 10, Christmas Eve, after I sent Jack and Violet to bed, chugging tea and arranging the presents into the familiar carefully constructed piles that I had grown up with. Over the past few weeks I have nearly killed my self trying to get everything ready, not just for Violet but for Jack and all other family members as well. Carrying way to many things home from town, bent over wrapping for hours on end while trying to entertain the child and the dog and giving myself migraines trying to make sure we had enough homemade treats to make ourselves feel sick with.

I tried to cheat slightly and make my life easier by stealing a jar of mince meat from my mum and buying ready made pastry. Only to get half way through making them, take my eyes off them for a second and have Echo jump up and eat the other half of the pastry. All in all I managed to make 9 mince pies, which incidentally I burnt when Violet dare to distract me by waking up.

By the time it got to Christmas I was knackered and we were all ill.

We welcomed in the New Year by eating Celebrations in bed and battling a good old dose of Tonsillitis. When it finally got to midnight Jack went in for the traditional ‘Happy New Year’ kiss only to find me sat there with Nose Corks made of toilet roll crammed in my nostrils and mini Snickers bars stuffed in my mouth. I would apologise for my appearance but I’m ashamed to say he’s used to it by now. I can go from carefully ‘made up’ somewhat last like appearance to Stig of the Dump in under 5 minutes and I couldn’t careless, side affect of having a baby. You get used to yourself looking like shite.

Here’s hoping that your Christmases and New Years were wonderful and that my personal appearance improves over the next year. Happy 2018!!
Violet, Echo, Jack and Stig

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