Doesn’t time fly when you’re constantly knackered: Part 2

Hey, Hi, Hello…I’M BACK!

When I realised it had been 6 months since I’d written my last blog post I was filled with a panic that only really affects people as they near a ageing milestone they’re not wanting to reach. For me it’s 30, next month is my 29th birthday and the beginning my last year in my twenties. W.T.F. Not only that but next month is Violets 1st Birthday and to me, this just reiterates how fast the years are flying by. How is my teeny tiny little baby turning ONE already?! Anyway, that’s for another post. Back to the point of why I have been so quiet over the past 6 months, I have no excuse other than the fact I just couldn’t be bothered. I have attempted to write several posts and all of them are sat unfinished on my computer. Having a child is EXHAUSTING, why does no-one tell you how exhausting it is trying to entertain a young baby all day? Everyone tells you how hard the first few months are but no-one prepares you for what comes next. The constant nursery rhymes on a literal 10 hour loop, continuous lack of sleep, the never ending mess (especially now that food’s involved) and the injuries that go hand in hand with young child.

‘Awww look the baby’s trying to feed herself’ *PROUD PARENTAL MILESTONE*. ‘Oh look, she’s redecorating the floor with that yoghurt that smells when it goes off and Oh Brilliant! I always wondered what Banana smush would look like on my cushions and, Ohhhh excellent…she enjoys throwing spoons, so much fu.. I’M BLIND IN ONE EYE! Good job I have another one…oh, she poked me in it…never mind’.


Joking aside it’s been pretty amazing to watch her develop her own personality and see how much she’s changing and ultimately, this hasn’t left me much time for me so when I did have precious ‘me’ time, I chose to use it to read or drink an uninterrupted cup of tea, sue me. However I’m back and aiming to do a bi-monthly blog update of our adventures and you can now all jump for joy.

So lets do a little recap of what’s been going on in the past 6 months.

Violet –

Started crawling and boy can she move. She throws the food I’ve spent ages carefully preparing on the floor and then proceeds to eat mine instead, apparently baby’s aren’t familiar with the concept of ‘Hanger’ and it’s frowned upon to stab a baby with your fork. I should be stick thin but life is cruel and I am still fat. So far she seems to recognise a few words, including ‘Dancing’ and ‘Dennis’ – don’t ask. And I’m pretty sure she thinks her name is Bob. We really should call her by her name every now and again but squishy bob suits her so well. She turns 1 next month and she still has no hair. Baldy by name, Baldy by nature.

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Jack –

Still a grumpy arsehole. Has a few more grey hairs, all of which he blames me for. Broke his knuckle punching a tree, again probably best not to ask, apparently it was a boxing injuring but all I know is his brother was involved and they should both wear ‘I’m with stupid’ badges when they’re together. Used said injury to get out of nappy duty for several weeks but his plan was scuppered when I caught him doing pulls up. Dick.

Broken several more controllers due to ‘Gaming Rage’, hair has completing grown back and is looking good, remembered our anniversary for the first time since we got together and turned 24 this month.


Echo –

Still with us. Still a Tw*t, although admittedly a slightly calmer one and turns 2 next month. Has been in training and will now at least look at us when we call him before hurtling off towards the horizon. 6 days since last incident of destruction, destroyed Violets stuffed bird. R.I.P were so fluffy 😦

Still likes to be cuddled like a baby and is Violets new best friend, purely for the carefully prepared food that she throws on the floor.



Me –

Morphed into a slightly less tired version of my former self, although actually not really, have just become accustomed to the lack of sleep. Decided to go back to work part-time and have in fact got myself a fantastic new job (Yay!) Tried to tackle Echo’s recall training resulting in me being up to my elbows in Badger poo, apparently Echo thought it was Dog Perfume. Tried once again to tackle Echo’s recall training on the shores and Silverdale and fell in a hole…backwards, wearing the baby I might add, in front of several people I might also add. Gave up trying to tackle Echo’s recall training. Turning 29 next month and have been eating too much cake, Baby belly is now a Cakey belly.



So there we are, 6 months crammed into a few paragraphs and you’re all caught up. You’ll be hearing from me soon to fill you in on our most recent adventures, there’s always a tale to tell, that’s the upside to have such a weird, I mean Unique family. I say upside, it could be a downside, I try not to think about to much.


That’s all for now, Violet, Echo, ‘Stupid’ and Me.

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